


A Meaningful Chat

by Biohazrat



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Deep Conversations, F/M, Fluff and Angst, cullen gets called the hell out, fluff at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-27 23:00:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18200165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Biohazrat/pseuds/Biohazrat
Summary: Mona Lavellan has some worries, Cullen is also worried, talking ensues.





	A Meaningful Chat

Mona hadn’t spoken to Cullen in a week, she’d been staying in Skyhold for a month now, taking a small leave of her journeys through Thedas to complete work she had missed while away. In this time they had both confessed their attraction to each other and shared many special moments, but now something was obviously wrong. In the many meeting they’d had with the other advisors she had barely even glanced his way, only speaking to him when it was necessary and quickly walking out of site once the meetings had ended. Cullen didn't know what to do, he had tried to talk to her many times but she would always make an excuse or hide at the sight of his approach. Had he done something wrong? Truly was his affection one sided? Had she seen him as a passing fancy and now was moving on? Hard enough as she was to read his own insecurity weighed heavily on his mind now. 

As the day turned into night Cullen couldn't stop these thoughts from occupying him, the mandatory documents he was required to finish hardly lay touched as he couldn't focus on a thing. Frustrated by uneasiness of his mind Cullen paced around his office like a man wracked by an ailment. He crossed his arms over his chest and would mutter to himself as he paced, she was so far under his skin, so deep even if their romance had only begun recently. It was almost frightening how she had already staked a claim in his heart, how her eyes would land on him and his heart would flutter, her hands would fleetingly land on his arm and he’d pause. When she kissed him it was like throwing fire into the flame, making his heart and mind explode in a frenzy of affection and admiration he never knew he could feel for someone. If she were to break his heart, he wished she would just do it sooner rather than making him wait for an answer. At night Mona would appear in his dreams, black hair shining in gleaming light as he would pull her close, the fabricated memory of her coy embrace haunted him all throughout the night. But perhaps it would have to fall into his hands to confront her, to ask her what she was thinking, to put his own mind at ease. Even now he could imagine as her face pulled into a slight grimace, the corners of her eyes narrowing and her eyebrows pulling together in a tight knot. 

Cullen hesitated a moment to think of what he were to say, then promptly started his trek to the inquisitor's quarters. The walk felt short compared to the many walks he had made to her room before, the copious times he had delivered her documents personally just so he could share a moment of time with her. He’d bring her little gifts along with the reports he’d deliver, the curve of her lips as she excitedly greet him and except his gifts would always make the rest of the day feel like a dream. Whenever she wasn't around him the days seemed to melt together, repetition made the work almost feel like a dream, one hour after the next of mindless tasks melting his brain into a stress filled hole. Now as he stood before her door he felt a uneasiness he had never felt up until he started caring for this woman. This interaction could end it all, her gentle smiles and the joy she gave him would fall out of his grasp. Where would that leave him? But Cullen was brave, the many battles he had won in his life had turned him into a man unafraid of head on combat, and this battle would just be another experience under his belt.

He knocked briskly, waiting a moment before hearing her faint voice invite him inside. Pushing his way inward he could see the shock that filled her eyes as she caught sight of him, clearly not expecting his visit this late into the evening. Mona stood restless in the middle of her quarters, gawking at him for a moment before lowering her eyes to the ground below as if the words she needed to say caught in her throat like a trapped bird. How she radiated beauty as she stood nervously in the middle of a room was unknowable to Cullen, the moons grey light that pooled into her quarters reflected off her skin in a way that made her seem as if she was a holy being. She wrung her small capable hands in front of her anxiously, the marking on her tan skin prevalent in the moon's glow. Just having her in front of him now was going to make this whole synergy between them much more difficult. With Hesitation in his stride Cullen moves himself so he stands a few steps apart from the elf, observing her closer he can now see in detail the worry lines and shifting of her eyes and she appears to be in her own head. He clears his throat before trying to verbalize his own inner monologues. 

“Inquisitor,” he pauses before correcting himself “Mona, I….think you have an idea of why I’m here. I’ve been- I’ve been trying to talk to you in these past days and I haven't been able to catch hold of your time.” Stopping for a moment he observes how she still keeps her eyes cast down, Cullen begins again. “Are you alright?” 

Mona looks up at him then, not quite in his eyes but she peers at his chest for a moment before looking to the side. She bites her lip as she forms a harmony of words to speak her mind. “By now you must know that I have...a hard time speaking my mind, or saying what I’m feeling. It’s never quite been in my nature to tell those around me how I feel, But…..I trust you enough now to know I can speak freely.”

“I don't want you to feel forced, but I must admit I’d like to know why you haven't been speaking to me” Cullen casts, taking a small step forward in anticipation.

Mona heaves a heavy sigh “You said you could care for me even if I’m a mage... but is that really enough?” agitation seeps in her words but there is no spite in her tone, only a nauseous angst that overwhelms her quickly “Your words when we first met stick with me, were they fueled by who I am, did seeing an elven mage cause you to speak to me like that?? It frightens me to even think that you could feel so harshly to someone like me by just seeing them, breech aside I wonder how you would have spoken if I was a human…. a human rogue or..a human warrior….” she stops the pacing she started doing amidst her words to stop and breath for a moment before looking at Cullens eyes. She could see they were filled with sadness, and from how she felt she knew she looked the same.

“I care for you deeply, but I don't want to care for someone who doesn't believe in my own freedom. The idea that the man I’m choosing to stick by doesn't believe I should have free range of my own life, or the people like me having freedom either, leaves an awful taste in my mouth” The mage continues to look at Cullen, his face contours into a form of sadness she hadn't seen on him before.He looks guilty. Now it's his turn as he looks down at his feet as he thinks.

Cullen takes another step towards her and with a feather light touch he takes her smaller hand in his own. Mona looks up at him with small shock seeped into her eyes, they had touched like this many times before, but she hadn't expected him to react to her outburst with affection. He just holds her hand for a breath before taking it with both of his hands, looking at her with a new determination. 

“I wish you had told me of your worries sooner, I may have eased your mind before these thoughts had worried you this much.” running his fingers across her knuckles he continues “I was hoping you might have seen this change you stuck into me, I thought that through our many discussions you would have seen how much you’ve impacted my way of thinking about these matters. But either way let me assure you, after getting to know you and seeing your perspective I agree with you. My way of behaving and thinking before was incorrect, I wish I could have come to see this on my own but through you I have been able to see the error in my ways. You and your fellow mages deserve freedom if you wish it, whether it be elf or human we…...we all deserve freedom.” By the end of his words Cullen now holds her hand tightly, trying to convey the real depth behind his statements. 

Mona Lavellan had a habit of expecting the worst from everyone.Often her keeper would tell her that her negative way of thinking would only make the bad things in life feel worse. She never said how it would feel when your expectations are completely reversed, it felt incredibly gratifying, every worry she had seemed smaller now. But there always seemed to be some sort of doubt racking her brain. 

“Is it possible that you could just swap ideas like this?” the words come out breathlessly.

“It took many nights of thinking, believe me when I say this wasn't something that happened in the span of a day. It took me awhile to come to where I am now, but i believe it's for the better.” he sent a small grin down at her. 

“You’re not just saying this?” 

“I’d never lie to you Mona.” 

She let herself crack then, a wide smile quickly established onto her face like it was meant to be there all along. Moving her unoccupied hand to Cullens cheek she looked into his eyes with a new affection that hadn't been there before. A feeling of gleeful knowing spreading throughout, causing her stomach to fill with butterflies. “You are truly a good man Cullen, I can't even describe how satisfying it is to hear you say these things. Ma serannas” a small joyful laugh bubbles out of her stomach and it wracks her body for an instant.

Without anymore words Cullen leans in and softly lays a kiss on her lips, it was a joyful embrace, the kind of kiss that neither of them wanted to end. They both knew this was now just the beginning of something real, with the dedication behind his words and the joy he brings her there truly wasn't anything better than this.

**Author's Note:**

> UHHH this is the first thing I've ever posted that I've written! I Hope you enjoy it :)


End file.
